You managed to break away from the emotion or thought that had taken over you, congratulations! They have not disappeared, they are there, but you are no longer one with them, look at them from the outside, with objectivity. The good news is that you don't actually have to do anything. You don't have to fight, reject, refuse, drive away. All of this requires a lot of effort and it doesn't help because it fuels the things you want so much to get rid of. All you have to do is observe and remain detached from emotions and thoughts. You have an inner space where your creations manifest. Be convinced that they were born because of you and you created them to help you when you needed it. From your quiet and relaxed position, carefully observe what is happening, without judging, without desires. He knows that inner space and always learns from what happens there.

  1. Position

A word for this state might be "contemplation", but without admiration or veneration. Another word can be "presence": you are there but you don't necessarily "do" anything. I like to marvel from time to time: "She's looking at you!" or "Look how he behaves!" but I stop here, without putting labels, even though we are so used to doing that. It's as if you discover something new every time and for which you don't already have an evaluation or a category, you haven't already prescribed a future for it. This means that you do not have a preconceived idea and that you do not influence the process.

Be there without fear: if the emotion or thought absorbs you again, detach, as in step 3, and return to the position of calm and tranquility, you already know that you can do this and you will do it more and more easily . You will be the one who decides, because you decide if you want to suffer or not. You can contemplate pain without suffering, you can see the effects of anger on your body without losing your inner calm. Each such experience helps, you learn and become better and more peaceful each time.

  2. Observation

Follow carefully what is happening, as if you were taking notes from which to study for the exam. As if you are documenting a new and interesting experiment whose end is open to all possibilities. "Note" what you feel in your body and what is the connection with your thoughts and emotions. What is the quality of your interior space? How does it change and depending on why?

Train yourself by listening to others, being present for them. It is ideal to start applying the process together with someone else. This way you will help each other. You don't have to reveal intimate things, if it doesn't come easily to you. Practice presence, lack of judgment, attention. Practice disidentification: be careful when you empathize with the known person and situation and detach yourself immediately. I return her to the position of impartial listener, without judging, without giving solutions, only helping, like a mirror, the partner's awareness.

  3. Create the conditions to succeed

You can give yourself a helping hand to successfully complete this Step. In the beginning you will probably need more time and space to maintain yourself in the position of observer and to return there when you are diverted. Practice whenever you have the opportunity, there are certainly many emotions and thoughts that exist in your inner space. Patience, patience, patience, this is the key to Step 4. But what could be more important than making this space cleaner, brighter? You will thus become calmer, quieter, more peaceful. And the most important thing for you, moreover, the only one you can really influence, is you.

Be convinced that as you practice the 4-step Process, you will successfully complete it faster and faster and in any kind of external conditions. At the beginning, however, it is worth making sure that you have created all the prerequisites for success.

  4. Support

Some emotions and thoughts will calm down and dissipate faster, others will return. The ones that will continue to have power over you are very important and can show you some common causes of restlessness and suffering. Apply the forgiveness - gratitude - love method to solve these issues.

I recommend you to turn with confidence to "specialist" support, this is not reserved for those with "serious problems" or, if you want, we all have serious problems. Those who have not yet realized this have the most serious problems . We are all helped by a counselor, a mentor, a coach or a clergyman. Use all the help you can get, these people don't judge, they just increase the chances of success by listening, mirroring, advice.

Keep your interior clean, quiet, calm and the exterior will no longer have any power over you.

Peace and tranquility existed and always exist in you, you just have to train yourself to find them when needed. Don't forget that by becoming better you will help others, directly or indirectly, to do this!

Success!